So after studying, researching and learning from professional escorts on the PDF guide, websites, podcasts past few days, I started to feel a little embarrassed that I am so unprofessional…
I know one of my client find it more attractive about me…my personality being so honest and open…showing all the emotions…that I am not professional….style.
I also learned this escort industry is quite materialistic, physical beauty or look focused…especially on the touring ‘travel fly me to you’ high end companions side.
Their twitter is filled with selfies of lingerie, gifts, luxury bags and designer shoes and clothes, dining out pictures, nude or half nude pictures…etc…because they have to show their current look or physics for potential clients.
Branding, marketing, promoting to attract the clients who appreciate those things I guess.
I wondered and reflected back about my marriage life and ex.
He wanted me to buy clothes, do hair and make up but I wasn’t interest in those too much…to be honest really not much…
And I never wore or bought or owned high heels in my life to confess.
I got inquiry a few days ago from one gentleman who was traveling to Hong Kong and asked me if I would fly out there to meet him mentioning he likes woman with high heels too.
I messaged him back with my comment I will have to buy high heels first.
I look very pretty when I put on make up-I hear that when I put effort and time to put make up on that I should do that often.
Or some didn’t even recognize it was me one day. Haha!
Anyway, I thought I would learn proper and professional make up one day(maybe private class) and experiment with make up occasionally.
Doing something different, right? Kind of playing or acting differently for fun.
So these beautiful escorts seem to enjoy full make up, lingerie, fine dinging dating and all the designer goods and fashion.
It’s fun and cool I can see that. 🙂
It’s cool to wear beautiful dress and stuff. It’s fun to see that too.
I was busy doing, studying health and wellness, personal development stuff so far and I wondered what men like, my ex would have liked from me.
He hated that I spent all the money to pay for running my center-I wanted to share something meaningful with people and have a space for people to grow and learn.
He wanted me to spend money on me.
Anyway…I read article from other escort’s advice on focusing on fashion, looks for that matter and I got it and wondered about my ex…
The men who love to go out on a date with high end escorts don’t have a satisfaction at home with their spouses or partners?
I heard they want to be seen in public with beautiful young women.
I kind of imagined myself in those scenarios.
If I want to do that…I have to buy lingerie, high heel(AND wear them), nice designer clothes…taking selfies…and post them constantly…?
They enjoy them I guess. 🙂
Hm..for a change and experiment or becoming different character I would be up for doing that and see how it is like. :))
I think I will do that project sometime in the future and promote me in that niche and experience something different. 🙂
It might be fun.
But I feel deep appreciation for my clients. I appreciate them for liking, accepting me for who I am.
I remember…that moment…
I really appreciated the client I mentioned…that I really liked and missed after meeting one time…last year.
We spent overnight and left hotel together…in the next morning.
I had a skin breakout easily with food sensitivities…and I felt little subconscious about that. I don’t even put make up.
He knew that as I clearly say I don’t like to put on make up usually.
And yet he chose me to spend time together. And being so giving and kind.
And he still thinks about our time together often…I hear…
It is so heart-touching feeling…right now as I share this…my tears are coming down…from my deep appreciation and emotions.
The client who valued me so much for spending so much money for several overnights with me on the special time like Christmas eve and Christmas, inviting me to his home for few days and night, dining out to a nice restaurant with me, treating me so kindly and nicely and making me feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman movie…although I wasn’t dressed up like all these high end escort ladies I see on the twitter and sites…
I really feel that’s so special and sweet…I appreciate so much now…making me teary…
Creating beautiful memories and making Christmas so special for me and also my birthday…
Going to movies, walking in the city holding hands…bringing his ipad and explaining me about the Star wars series story as I never watched any of series before…before going to movie theather so that I have a basic understanding. 🙂
Also Adam’s Family soap opera series watching together on his ipad at the hotel, ordering breakfast…having meals together…
I was so surprised and appreciated my client even more when I saw him so generous and kind to the waiter who brought the cart with tip(Korean culture we don’t have to tip officially).
All my clients whom I am in close contact with…I feel so grateful. For their kindness, understanding, sharing, supporting…accepting me, finding me interesting and cool to be around.
Also I feel so grateful for some of the really cool international escorts who followed me back and connected and shared their thoughts and feelings and retweeted and mentioned me. So kind. Then their followers retweeted.
So kind network of people I feel.
But also I feel I need to give apology to some of clients who contacted me to meet…who found me attractive and interesting enough to want to spend time with me and reached out…
I sometimes declined…because I am not attracted to too overweight males…
I felt so bad but I had one incident of feeling not really into the time…although the gentleman was so kind, nice, wonderful person…
I felt at that moment, I am lying…or not true to myself…when I wasn’t feeling it 100%…I didn’t want to do that again.
Not true to myself and feelings.
I know many other professional escorts are not doing this sex work for seeking their own pleasure…and they have more compassion than me.
But that’s just me…
I will be so happy to guide them if they like to lose body fat and get healthier.
By understanding how human body works, hormones, foods and nutrition are more important than calorie in, calorie out and burning calorie paradigm.
Health Session podcast with professor Tim Noakes MD.
My ketogenic resource post:
I know we all want to be accepted for who we are…
I know I might have hurt some clients’ feelings whether I met or not…
I wanted to express little bit deeper about the situation.
It’s more about me. Being true to my heart. My self…than about them…just about me.
I am not sure if this makes sense and they will feel less hurt or better to hear this or not…
I feel I am kind of selfish or user for escort industry or even sharing my feelings and stories for my benefit…it’s like my own self healing therapy…
Get out all from my system and move on to brighter, more positive side. 🙂
Little more to do I feel. I have one huge thing to share…about my deepest trauma.
Why I am so craving for love and affection…thus sex. Connections…
Soon…I will share.
Thank you for reading my long post. I appreciate your time and being interested in what I have to say.
Thank you for listening…